10/15/13 <<8 weeks>>
On a daily basis there doesn't seem to be any changes but looking back, man, my surgery was Aug 20th! That seems so long ago. Anyways, the toe..the cast..my state of mind. I went in & had my cast changed last week, I'll write about that in a moment.
First...My toe feels like a have a band-aid wrapped around it. It feels stiff & can't move it. It's also kind of curled downward, as I mentioned, the doc overextended it so that it wouldn't stick up once I'm up & able to walk again. Which I wish could happen...yesterday! I can report that I don't feel pain, per say. Soreness maybe would be the proper way I can describe it. That & stiffness. My pinky toe is quite numb & since this cast is a bit more looser that the past 2, I have more wiggle room (not sure if I am supposed to wiggle around in there but I can't help it sometimes). Well, when I do move the foot, in an effort to stretch it out , the bottom of my operated toe rubs on the inner sock & feels very...weird. It's obviously still also very numb & actually, now that I think of it, feels like when someone steps on your toe. That feeling of swollen, numbness. If you never had anyone step on your toe(s) or stubbed a toe, you are very lucky.
My heel feels healed or at least I don't feel any pain/discomfort anymore. When I had the cast taken off, which by the way, is still the most dreadful thing I've had to get done, the inner sock was actually stuck to my heel! My husband & I remember that one night after a shower, I felt some water got inside on the back of my leg but had no idea it went down that far. The heel, that area, is also still very numb but I think that may have been some of the pain I had felt. So now as a result I'm freaked out to wear the stupid rubber boot & have decided to continue taking baths. Every now & then, depending on the position I sit/lay in, I can feel the scar on my heal but it doesn't hurt. It does feel a little sore if I'm in the same position though, resting it on my heel for too long.
As I'm sure I mentioned in a previous blog, the night/shower time is the worst for me. If I shower, I have to use the rubber boot which in order to work has to have the air pumped out of it which causes a lot of pressure that on days is unbearable. If I bathe, not only do I have to move the chair & soap, etc to the tub but also the wicker bench to rest my foot on while wrapped with a towel. The towel I tuck all the way around & cover the whole cast so as to not get wet or splashed. The worst part is that I FREEZE & I really really dislike being cold.
The cast...I was going to go purple, for Halloween, but they were out so I went with red. I learned that no matter the color, I still absolutely hate it.
As for the Dr visit last week, as I said, went in to have a new cast put on, oh joy, & had x-rays taken. The x-rays looked pretty much the same to me as I am obviously not a professional & don't know what to look for but the Doc said the bone started healing. He said the part of bone that will begin to heal quicker is the one that is closest to the heart. What I could tell is that the bone closest to the tip of my toe was still not healed/fused together. That part of my leg & foot looked retched! Discolored, wrinkly, very dry, ugh..it was horrible to look at my poor little leg/foot. I also inquired about the pain & hot feeling I was experiencing. He said I have to elevate the foot more. In asking, he also mentioned after the cast comes off, because that's all I can think about, I'll wear a boot for 2 weeks & will need to continue using the crutches because I still won't be able to put weight on it. I don't care about using the crutches, as long as this cast comes off my foot!! It wont be till the 3rd or 4th week after the cast comes off (yay!!) that he said I will be able to slowly start to put weight & begin to walk/do physical therapy. I just can not WAIT to clean it really good, moisturize it really good, shave, feel foot freedom & stare at it for long periods of time.
Husband took me to get work out clothes so I can join him on his walks. Since the weather is gorgeous now, I can't wait! Shoot, I will go out there rain or shine after this whole experience. Which brings me to my state of mind...lol! Look, I'm turning 41 Friday & sitting/laying with my foot elevated is no simple task. Not only do I feel claustrophobic from wearing the cast but I also feel trapped in my own house. I can't stand long enough to clean the bathroom, if I don't use a Solo cup it's hard to carry a drink to the couch, let alone a plate of food. I can carry the Solo plastic cup in my mouth. I obviously cannot drive, therefore I cannot leave the house. I depend on my husband for just about everything. I feel so unproductive just sitting/laying here. Not to mention, I've had heartbreaking problems with family.
I try & focus on positive things like, oh yea, my toe is healing because I had the surgery of my dreams, I have a wonderful man, my husband, who works at home & wouldn't be able to do this with out him, I went to my grand son's first little t-ball game & celebrated his 4th birthday, my son got accepted to NAU & get to celebrate his senior year with him like Senior Night this Friday at his football game, my best friend is far but makes me feel so loved & I've been researching a few jobs I want to pursue when I'm up & able. I get to eat candy apples, my favorite this time of year.
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